Why do I Always Feel Depressed at Christmas?

Every year at Christmas, when it comes time to decorate the tree, I get super crabby! I seem to be able to handle decorating other parts of the house, just don’t let me near the tree. Is it because I’m not a visual person? Did I suffer some ornamental trauma at age 2? I have no idea what this is about. My family has kindly determined that they will handle the tree while I’m not in the room. All is well enough.

What is it about Christmas? Our emotions change at this time of year. It’s not just you; It’s nearly everyone. Some people might feel happier, excited, peaceful, rested. Most of us probably feel more stressed and anxious as we get busier and spend more money. But sad, down, depressed? Where does that come from?

There can be obvious reasons. The classic answer is that we are remembering loved ones that we’ve lost. We gather with friends and family and notice that some people are missing.  Or we feel lonely, left out, or even angry because we aren’t gathering with friends and family.  Perhaps we do gather with family and we leave feeling hurt. We thought this year might be different, but it wasn’t. Not at all.

So, we hurry between events and shopping until at some point, things come to a stop. And we pause.  Perhaps then you notice the ache. The emptiness, the despair, the sadness. You might blame it on family or Christmas or yourself.

It’s not a secret that our culture rewards us for being busy. Being productive is a major source of self-worth and a frequent topic of conversation. We ask, “What have you been doing lately?”  I think our busyness helps us avoid those sinking, low, sad, depressive feelings that have may have been there for most of the year. We just didn’t notice until now.

It’s not that Christmas makes us depressed. It’s very likely that we didn’t notice we were already depressed until we finally paused long enough for it to well up.

There is so much that I want to say about depression. It’s so important to talk about, treat, and address. For now, I really want to tell you this:

It’s okay to just feel sad for a while. It really is.

Sadness is not an emergency.  It’s okay if depression keeps you home for a day or two. It helps us rest. It helps us acknowledge what we don’t like about our lives so that we can see where we want to go. It’s also a physiological response to being stressed and busy. What goes up must come down.  We need to rest there for a little while.

I know that the more popular approach is to get rid of sadness and depression with 7 quick tips as soon as you can.  I also know that some of you have been depressed for a very long time and that your thoughts can start to go to scary places. Yes, we do need help and support there. Other times, sadness and even depression is a normal, expected part of our lives. It can be okay to go there.  Just for a bit.

If you need help going to that sad place, even for just a bit, we’re here to help. Always.